Don't You Know You're Beautiful?

The song on my playlist titled "Don't You Know You're Beautiful?" by Kellie Pickler came on the radio the other day and I started to cry. The girls and I were riding in the car and I couldn't help but think about their fragile little self-esteems. Girls these days have such a hard time believing that they are beautiful and in some ways can we blame them? The media has convinced them that in order to be pretty you have to be a size 0 with designer clothes. It makes me so sad when I think about how they, at the tender ages of 9 and 12, are already feeling "fat" and "uncool". Why is there so much emphasis on size and beauty? Even grown women have difficulties with this issue, myself being one of them.

When will it stop? I say, in my family, it stops right now! I don't care if my daughters get sick and tired of hearing me tell them they are beautiful, I will repeat myself millions of times until the day I die, if that's what it takes for them to believe me. This is what else I can do:

• I pledge that I will refrain from speaking negatively about myself so the example will be set as to how we should treat and love ourselves.


• I will remind my girls about the importance of feeling good about themselves and that it comes from the inside and not from the out.


• I will reinforce to them that they are in charge of who they are, who they become, and of making their own choices; never allowing others to persuade them against what they know is right! (especially boys!)


• I will remind them that they are strong enough to overcome the possible challenges of eating disorders, and that thinner is NOT always better.


• I will allow them to develop their own 'style', teaching them that 'extreme styles' will only draw negative attention to themselves and give others the opportunity to negatively judge them.

The extreme styles I'm referring to are: Gothic, ghetto, scanky, and so forth. (Please forgive the use of the word 'scanky'. I know it's a crude word, however I don't know how else to describe the extremely immodest dress of a girl who's body is only 10% covered by fabric...not clothes)

• I will encourage them to be a good friend, one that will be a positive example of self worth. They owe it to themselves to stay pure and clean; free from the many consequences of intimacy before marriage. I will teach them about the consequences that come from not refraining.


• I will encourage them to go to college and gain a degree in the field of their choosing. One that will make them happy in life.


• In addition to having a successful career, I will encourage them to live within their means when raising a family; teaching them that 'money' won't make you happy, but it will make you comfortable. And being comfortable allows you to have the things that you need. When the focus isn't on 'do we have enough money for diapers?' or 'can we make the electric payment this month?', it frees up energy and time to spend on the children. This in turn will help with being overwhelmed and can do wonders for the happiness of a mom.

Is it possible for our girls to grow up and break the cycle of negative self-esteem? I think there should be a ban on skinny girl models. There should be a law stating that any model in the industry MUST weigh at least 140 lbs. (I think the average weight is 100-110 lbs...I might be wrong.) Isn't that a more realistic weight?

Anyway, here's a sample of a conversation that I had with Sabrina the other day. I was quite surprised by her comments.

Me: Sabrina, how did you get so pretty?

Sabrina: I don't know...(pause for contemplation)...'cause I was born in California?

Me: (trying not to laugh...she thinks the reason why she's the only one with blonde hair and tan skin is because she was born in California) Do you think you're pretty?

Sabrina: Yes.

Me: You do?

Sabrina: (with look of bewilderment) Yes.

Me: Did you know that some girls don't think they are pretty?

Sabrina: (with look of surprise) No. Why?

Me: Sometimes girls think that they are fat when really they are skinny.

Sabrina: (still looking surprised) Oh. Why?

Me: I don't really know. Do you think you are fat?

Sabrina: No way.

Me: I am so happy you know how pretty you are!

Sabrina: (smile)

Me: (smile)

I guess I must be doing something right. Listen to the song...